saucylittleminx:

Happy mothers day. I can only hope that when the time comes, I’ll be as patient and wise. As it is, I am my dog’s mother and have no authority whatsoever.

erospainter:

Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful Moms out there…Eros has left the building for today cya

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” - Buddy Hackett

•  “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” - Phyllis Diller

• “Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.” - Phyllis Diller

• “We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” - Phyllis Diller

• “Poverty is hereditary - you get it from your children.” - Phyllis Diller

• “I asked my mom if I was a gifted child… she said “they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.” – Unknown

• “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” - Milton Berle

• “I know how to do anything - I’m a Mom.” - Roseanne Barr

• “A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after” – Peter De Vries

(via moonshineandwool)